Reflection on Yoga for Grief:
This is a reflection to remember how my body reacted. Yesterday (11-14-16) I decided to take a free yoga class on grief. Lately and the past month, I have been feeling more down, depressed and anxious. I know the various reasons why and thought that when life doesn’t go as expected that I could be grieving for what could have been.
I get more out of lead yoga moves because there are things I forget to do by myself, like breathing in a more controlled way. Note: Remember alternate nostril breathing for anxiety attacks too. Plus, I think sometimes lead yoga helps me to meditate better and no focus on what is coming next or what I want to do next. I can relax into my body more. I focus on letting go of the tension that I hold in my body.
The first part of the class was very relaxing. I think my whole body was more relaxed than I have ever been in the past couple of months. I think sometimes I just need to take time and relax this way, sink into the floor…the earth (I have OCD issues about being on the floor but there is always the shower afterwards).
Throughout the class I pushed myself. I usually do this more during lead yoga because I feel more determined. Usually I can push myself through the whole class with no issues. I did have moments where I felt tears bubbling up during this class. I do alternate poses for Downward Dog because it is best for my body right now.
During part of the class I started having problems. I think it could be a combination of a few things. The class was on fire with energy and over powering for me at one point. I was dealing with my own inner thought issues. My body was giving me problems, since starting on Metformin I have to be more careful about my blood sugar and I started to feel like when I have low blood sugar and start panicking. I felt dizzy. I felt over whelmed. My blood pressure was most likely up because my heart was racing for a while. My body is not in shape.
All of these struggles started coming to a head during the Warrior poses. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do the poses. My body was telling me I needed to rest and from experience I know I need to listen. So, I sat down and drank water. At first I was upset that I was having problems during Warrior poses, which is one of my favorite poses. Then I was thinking that maybe because I have to learn how to be more of a Warrior in a different way than I usually am. I don’t like confrontation, though I will if need be. Lately I have had to let go of my worry about what others will think or what will happen in the future. I have had to be ready to fight. Maybe my body is exhausted or needing to get prepared more.
When I felt ready I went back to doing the moves. I started to feel panicking again and told myself I can do this. I’m okay. I was able to get through the rest of the class.
Thanks so much to Mama for helping me with some alternate positions and some positions they were doing! I really appreciate the help!
After the class I felt better. I felt stronger. It loosed up some things, emotions and body in general, inside me. It helped me feel better.
Today I still feel stronger. My acid problem I was having seems to be gone. My sinuses are better and not draining. My body aches in that good ache way.
I’m thinking about starting in January taking, at least, one yoga class a month. It is what I can afford, I wish I could weekly. Though, it would be like a good tune up for my body, mind and spirit every month.