Weekend Update

sherlockinternallyscreaming

This past weekend wasn’t the best for me.  After visiting with Ms. Lovely and Mr. Jolly, everything went down hill, then up hill, then circles and like I was on a rollercoaster.  I don’t like rollercoasters.  I want off the ride!!!! ACK!!!!

I really can’t go into details about what is going on with me.  Though, it has my anxiety and depression up.  I have cried so much that I can’t cry anymore.  At times I do want to cry, there was some times earlier this morning.

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I’m combating this time in my life with positive thinking, beliving what I wish to happen has already happened, and being more aware of my emotions.  I can tend to fly off the handle to quickly and get emotional quickly. Though, I’m really trying to not let things get to me.  For example, I really dislike someone touching my laundry.  When I came back from dinner, some one had folded my laundry.  I wanted to scream, shout, make a fuss…instead I let it go.  I screamed internally.  I’m making myself let things go more and stop being so comfortable.  I’m to comfortable with my life and I have gotten into a rut.  It is times to change that.

In other news, Saturday morning I went to have my car looked at.  I got an oil change, tires rotated, windshield wiper fluid works now and found out that I’m okay about a check engine light (it has nothing to do with the car running).  Saturday I spent the day depressed, crying some, forcing myself to eat, watched some movies & shows, and talked with my Daddy a lot.  Thankfully Sunday I was able to go see my Daddy.  We talked, held hands, cuddled, kissed and went to dinner together.  I even dressed up before going over to his place and put some make up on.  Besides coffee Friday, Sunday was also a good day.

This morning I got up early because I couldn’t sleep past 5am.  I did some things around the house and cleaned the things I wanted to do when I got home.  Yay!  They are done and I don’t have to do them when I get home.  I’m trying to make more effort into my life instead of just in the breeze surviving.

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