This past weekend wasn’t the best for me. After visiting with Ms. Lovely and Mr. Jolly, everything went down hill, then up hill, then circles and like I was on a rollercoaster. I don’t like rollercoasters. I want off the ride!!!! ACK!!!!
I really can’t go into details about what is going on with me. Though, it has my anxiety and depression up. I have cried so much that I can’t cry anymore. At times I do want to cry, there was some times earlier this morning.
I’m combating this time in my life with positive thinking, beliving what I wish to happen has already happened, and being more aware of my emotions. I can tend to fly off the handle to quickly and get emotional quickly. Though, I’m really trying to not let things get to me. For example, I really dislike someone touching my laundry. When I came back from dinner, some one had folded my laundry. I wanted to scream, shout, make a fuss…instead I let it go. I screamed internally. I’m making myself let things go more and stop being so comfortable. I’m to comfortable with my life and I have gotten into a rut. It is times to change that.
In other news, Saturday morning I went to have my car looked at. I got an oil change, tires rotated, windshield wiper fluid works now and found out that I’m okay about a check engine light (it has nothing to do with the car running). Saturday I spent the day depressed, crying some, forcing myself to eat, watched some movies & shows, and talked with my Daddy a lot. Thankfully Sunday I was able to go see my Daddy. We talked, held hands, cuddled, kissed and went to dinner together. I even dressed up before going over to his place and put some make up on. Besides coffee Friday, Sunday was also a good day.
This morning I got up early because I couldn’t sleep past 5am. I did some things around the house and cleaned the things I wanted to do when I got home. Yay! They are done and I don’t have to do them when I get home. I’m trying to make more effort into my life instead of just in the breeze surviving.